A Sleepless Night

 

Sometimes, sleep eludes me, I think this ‘rest vehicle’ takes my patience for granted, there are nights I wait several hours before I eventually get a few hours of temporary non-existence.

On nights like this, I mostly think about things that I have done and those I haven’t but wish I had, I think about the world as it is: the chaos and the hustle, I think about music and women (smiles), for some reason I associate both together………………….

Women just like music can be calm and soothing, loud and annoying, sad but deep, happy and vain (like any Birdman hook) and some are a combination of a lot of the ‘good’ that you just have to call them beautiful in and out, they make you relate to a song like A Long Walk-Jill Scott.

So on this night, sleep took a long walk without me, leaving me staring into space, then PHCN hit, darkness swept in swiftly but I stayed there still and calm and then ‘thoughts’ came to my bed, my thoughts laid beside me like a woman, wanting conversation or maybe ‘love’.

Like couples, I and my thoughts opened up the album of history, reviewing every little detail of life since paid employment, the progressions and the need for more, the satisfaction of meeting own basic needs and the desire to meet wants, the ambitions and the challenges, the decisions and the indecisions then women.

In explicit detail, we spoke about first encounters and the relationships that developed, those that remained platonic and those where the lips did more than pronounce words, the characters that each person represented, the involvement, the memories and in some cases the sustained association.

Undeniable is the fact that there were a lot of similarities, not with those that remain friends but those associations that extended beyond friendship, for some reason I was disappointed that it took that long to see this……………

……………..That most often than not, the ex and the ex before and after are in some way similar women, that the difference is really in how, I and the partner handled testing situation, that the time together was a blend of decision and WANT, that continuity or sustenance is a blend of decision and NEED that two people must mutually have to make a relationship enduring, that the pursuit of happiness in the realm of emotions is a decision and not a search, you don’t look for it, you settle into it, especially if you make the right choices always. (Pick would have been a better word but might come across as rude)

I realised that evolution of the mind never stops, that’s why discoveries are never ending…………..what I am saying is that your mind will evolve and with each completed phase, you will discover new things, but discovery isn’t really about new options, it’s advancement on current options……….

I realised that expectations will vary, point of view will be diverse just as it is in every board room, however, there is always a convergence, alignment is sometimes better than winning, the former is a sign of consideration and respect for order.

After all the mapping, I concluded that the mind and the heart are the two most important sustenance organs, the mind for logic, the heart for the lack of logic, a balance of both in the right portion per situation is the success to sustaining any form of emotional connect.

I shook the night goodnight, hugged the female form that my thought had taken and in few minutes I was off to lala land.

Relationships just like sleep, can be good or bad, the key ingredient is simply the right thought before going into that space.