Relationship Choices


I have never assumed that I understand the yardstick for a perfect relationship as I know that needs vary and expectations differ. I have however tried to assemble a list of desires/ soul wishes when it comes to a relationship I will call perfect, but that is for me.

Unfortunately, a mental exercise I didn’t need if I had better understanding at that time.

Over time, especially when I matured emotionally and mentally enough to accommodate a partner in the true sense of it, I struggled hard with choice, I found out that most times, there is a conflict between my theoretical ‘girlfriend’ and the person I give the title. No arrogance intended.

As I grew older, I figured out that at times, probably most times, choice has nothing to do with it, you end up with her (or him as the case may be) because several factors dictated: proximity, circle of friends, immediate environment etc.

Available becomes desirable.

 However, expectations raise its ugly head. As a matter of fact, expectations, when not met mostly, brings backs that need for the ideal choice.

What then shapes choice? The partner’s physical attributes, the behaviours……… an endless list when it is a debate of a mind, isolated in thought.

 Most times, emotional maturity of both parties is never put into consideration.

I think I have fairly understood that emotional maturity is what shape choice, understanding that needs won’t be met totally but emotional bond when formed will fill the gap, mend the hurt and maybe guarantee longevity of a union. In recognition of other factors……………….

Maybe when it comes to relationships, especially those that are successful, choice took second stage while emotional maturity and bonding, both in a perfect weave ‘drove the car’.

What then is choice? It’s the theoretical definition of what should be.

Life, most times, makes us understand the limitations of totally making choice a priority especially when we mature emotionally and find that person, we truly bond.

The choice you make is a function of your maturity; the choice is really to mature, it shapes a lot.

Comments

  1. Unknown9 May 2013 at 06:08

    "Available becomes desirable"

    SO TRUE

    ReplyDelete
  2. omobolanle9 May 2013 at 07:07

    So very true. Maturity sure sustain a relationship, beyond beauty, money etc. i can attest to it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. TopeAdenle9 May 2013 at 07:16

    @ Temi- That is reality...............

    @ Omobolanle: Perfect when the level of maturity of the involved is close. If far apart, the bond might never form. It becomes a race filled with endurance only.

    ReplyDelete
  4. getnnenna9 May 2013 at 14:15

    Maturity is what makes the bonding in a r/ship stick, really. Be near or be far, if it is lacking it is slacking.
    Yes, a number of factors help us make our choices,but it is inevitable;there must be factors,and most times,one have to drive through some of them to grow 'mature' enough to eventually make a choice,knowing that we cannot have it all.
    Maturity here means: findind the best WAY to make it stick.(Endurance here is a sticker stuck at the back of a broken down truck)

    ReplyDelete

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